Only time will tell...

Well today is CD 16 and I have started the progesterone! I have been feeling quite poopy lately - due to the trigger shot. Since the trigger shot is derived from pregnant women's urine, I am having pregnancy symptoms. I love having these symptoms, but I wish they were for real. I am nauseated, sometimes overly hungry, peeing a lot, having cramping pains, extremely tired (even after sleeping for 15 hours) and a slight headache. I am supposed to feel these symptoms until around CD 22.

I have read some info, finding out that we have a 50/50 chance of getting pregnant this month. That beats the 20% that we would normally have on the meds. I have really good feelings about this cycle. I am much more relaxed and less stressed this time around. Maybe because I am more educated, maybe because we have a better chance. As weird as it sounds, I have a feeling this will be the month. But only time will tell! I am trying to work extra shifts to keep my mind off of this 2 week wait, while accuring more PTO and making some moolah! Keep your fingers crossed for us!

The nurses 2 cents!

I called my RE office this afternoon to let them know that we did move forward with this cycle. In discussing the pain issue with her, she stated that I could have ovulated or may be still ovulating. I guess all the follicles do not rupture and release the egg all at once. Instead they take turns. The follicles actually ooze out the fluid inside first, then releasing the egg. So although they say the follicles 'rupture,' it is much less dramatic than it sounds.

She assured me that we covered our basis with BD'ing (baby dancing aka intercourse). I am to start my progesterone tomorrow, continuing until I find out if we are successful this month. If so, we continue the progesterone. If not, we will discontinue the progesterone and start our next cycle. She scheduled me for my blood test on Monday, August 11 (since they only do blood tests M-F). Hopefully this will be our lucky day - this is Scootie's 6th birthday. So maybe we will get a little extra luck on that day - especially since we all know how obesessed I am with my Scootie!!! Can you just hear my voice? Scccooooooootttiiiieeee! :)

Here is an actual 'video' and description of what happens during ovulation - super interesting!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7447942.stm

Are my ovaries falling out?

This morning at work, I started having the pains that I get when I am about to ovulate or have ovulated. Since I have many more follicles and there a few big ones, it was way more painful than normal. I didn't want to take Tylenol at first, wanting to feel the ovulation pains to know that it was actually happening. However, after the pain increased over a couple of hours, I decided to allow myself to take the Tylenol to get some sleep.

So, the pain was pretty much gone this afternoon, when I woke up. An occasional tug to let me know my ovaries are still in there! :) I believe that I ovulated this morning at some point, causing all the pain from the big follicles moving thru the fallopian tubes. Funny that it was nice to feel some pain, knowing that ovulation was occuring. If all goes well, I will be able to get a blood test done on 8/10/08 to see if we are going to have a little earth angel added to our family!!! :)

And the decision is ...

After a long couple of days and many, many emotions on both of our behalf, Jason and I have decided to move forward with this cycle. Although the risk of high order multiples seems great with 6 follicles, studies that I have read stated that it is a mere 1-2% of having triplets or more. As stated before, we are accepting of twins, but Jason is not wanting the financial issues involved with having triplets.

Any decision that we made was taking some sort of risk, and this seemed to be the better risk to take. Besides, you can have 6 follicles and still not get pregnant. We had originally decided to cancel the cycle, however, after having more time to think, all I could think was how much we have been waiting for this to happen, maybe not under these circumstances, but it is here and this is a risk worth taking. I felt 100% about moving forward, while Jason had some reservations. In the end, I know that we would cancel the cycle and I would always regret it and wonder what would have happened. If we did have 2 or more at once, it would still be a better outcome that wondering for the rest of our lives!

So as we move forward with this cycle, we decided not to do the IUI aka artificial insemination and instead do it naturally - the fun way! :) I have read that you decrease the risk of multiples DRASTICALLY if choosing to 'baby dance' instead. I am due to be ovulating in the next 12 hours or so, very exciting!!!! Deep down we are both scared, but we know this is the right decision. I tend to believe that God would not give us more than we could handle. We are surrounded by many great people who would be more than supportive and helpful, if needed. Time will only tell when we cross that bridge.

Please keep us in your prayers, praying that this is our lucky month! At least I will have peace of mind knowing that we tried it, even if we do get a negative pregnancy result this cycle! Thanks to all of my family, friends and work buds who have listened to me rationalize this decision - giving me a little peace of mind and finding out what others would do in my situation!

Talking with the Nurse

This morning I called to speak to Dr.G, whom is out of the office with surgeries and such. So I spoke to the nurse with some questions. After a long and hard discussion last night, we decided that we are not canidates for selective reduction. I cannot imagine praying for this blessing for so long and then terminating it for selfish reasons. With that said, I questioned if the chance of multiples would decrease if we decided to skip the trigger shot and did natural intercourse instead of the artificial insemination. Much to my hopes, there is no reduction in the chances for multiples.

Jason and I would be accepting of twins at this point. When I questioned her on chances and percentages, she said that there was a 1% chance of conceiving triplets or higher. She also added that the chance of having high order multiples was almost unheard of. When asked if we tried to decrease the dose next month and discontinued this cycle (per Jason's questioning) she said that it could possibly decrease the number of follicles produced, however, it could also increase or give us no result at all. The ovaries are tricky and there is not telling what they are going to do.

So, we still have to make the decision, but with a little more education. As always, I will keep you posted on the details!

Finally ... some great news!

Well this morning I was up and ready for the big appointment! I went in hoping for some great news - and we got it. We now have 7 follicles: 1 @ 16mm, 2 @ 14mm, 2 @ 13mm, 1 @ 12mm and 1 @ 11mm. However, they are pretty sure that they will not all mature by the time we force ovulation.

So the plan is to either do the 100u injection tonight and go back tomorrow for another u/s and bloodwork - or we will do 2 nights at a reduced dose of 75u, do the trigger on Saturday night. Either way, we think we will be doing the insemination sometime this weekend, either Saturday or Sunday.

Although there are multiple follicles, they are generally not going to all ovulate. If they do ovulate, the follicle can be absent of an egg, the egg may have chromosome defect, the egg may not get fertilized, or the egg may not implant. So, although the risk of multiples is present - we will not be having a litter of children! We were told that there was a 40% chance of multiples when starting the treatment. After a mere meltdown, Jason is somewhat calm and collected. A little fear set in when he heard the word 'multiples' in the sense that it is now a possible reality. However, I am excited that the medication worked as it should have. I keep reminding Jason to breathe! The nurse said that this looks to be an excellent cycle! So pray, pray, pray!!!!

I will keep everyone updated. We will know more once we get the lab results this afternoon. We will find out when to schedule our appointments later today. Thanks to everyone for all the prayers and nice thoughts ... it makes the journey much more bearable!

*************UPDATE**********************

So Dr.G called me personally this afternoon and kept me on the phone for 15 minutes. He was wanting to make sure that we are okay with multiples, since the odds seem that this may happen. Jason and I are okay with twins, however, I am not wanting to have any more than that. He asked how I felt about selective reduction, which I have thought about since reading about this phenomenon. He says that there is a 5% chance that we would have more than triplets and a increased chance of triplets and even greater chance of twins. My estradiol level now being in the 900's. He gave the options of stopping this cycle and trying again next month, or continue on with the cycle knowing the facts.

I am so torn because we have been waiting for good news and for something to finally work - here it is, and now we have to make this difficult decision. We have spent a lot of money on this and I would hate to scrap this month, however, we do not want any more than 2 babies. I cannot even imagine the thought of having 3 (although I have faith that God would not give us more than we can handle)! Jason and I are going to have a discussion tonight. The doctor seems optimistic, but has to give us all the facts! I figure that there is a chance that none of them would fertilize and implant, so maybe we should move forward and do it. But then I think of how hard it would be for all of them or most of them to fertilize and implant and have to make that horrible decision to do selective reproduction! Anyone have any words of advice!?!?!? This is an impossible decision and we have to make it by the end of tonight so I can take my injection or stop them altogether.

If we decide to move foward, I will take my last injection tonight - at an increased dose. Then I will take my trigger shot tomorrow night, and go in for our insemination on Sunday morning. I will update you on the decision that we have made. Please pray that God will give us the answer to this difficult decision!

Anticipation is a killer.

I have another appt tomorrow with my RE, Dr.G - this will be CD 10. I will have the normal bloodwork and u/s done to check those developing follicles - hoping they are to the mature size. My estradiol level on Monday (CD 7) was 239. I have been doing some research and for every 200, that means you have a mature follicle. For example, if your level is 400, you may have 2 mature follies. However, some of the smaller follicles that are growing may also make that number rise too. The dr uses my u/s to measure the follies and the estradiol level to see if the info coincides. If they are not matching up, there could be another issue - maybe a cyst or other problem.

So on CD 7, my follicles were 10mm and 13mm, not quite mature (mature being 18mm) - but hopefully the have been growing over the last few days. I have been reading tons of message boards and getting some encouraging news regarding my numbers from my last appointment on Monday. I am sooooo ready to go tomorrow and am excited to hopefully get some great news! We are due for some good news, for sure. This whole process is a constant waiting game: waiting to get your monthly visitor, waiting to start your injections, waiting for your appointments every 3-4 days, waiting for your results, waiting for your follicles to grow, and then the ABSOLUTE WORST - the 2 week wait to see if you are going to have your little earth angel! But, I guess at least we always have something to look forward to.

The injections have been going really good - getting a little easier as each night passes. The needle is the size of an insulin needle, which is harmless. However, the medication burns when you inject it and you can feel it moving around for 10-15 minutes. No major side effects at this point - just nightmares every time I go to sleep. They are pretty severe and make me uneasy once I wake up. But as I have told everyone, if this is the worst thing I have to experience - so be it! I told a friend that when Baby Smith arrives, he/she is not going to get anything for his/her first christmas because conceiving them took all the christmas money! :) But c'mon, do you really think that would actually happen?!?!?!? :)

The second ultrasound ...

Today I was lucky to venture to Olathe at 8:45 this morning - crossing the Paseo in rush hour. After an hour drive, with some great music, I finally arrived - and on time even better! The results of the ultrasound were: I have 2 follicles growing towards maturity - one at 10mm and the other at 13mm. I had labs drawn and will find out the results later this afternoon. The results of the ultrasound and labs will determine if I will stay on the same dose of injectables or if it will increase. Follicles are supposed to grow up to 1-3mm every day to reach maturity at 18mm. So we are on a forward moving road.



The plan is to continue the injectables until the follicles reach maturity - then doing a trigger shot to force my body to ovulate. I am currently on cycle day 7 and the injections normally last until around cycle day 10-12. The dr. suggests that we do artificial insemination to increase our odds, which will happen 36 hours after my trigger shot. I will then start Progesterone until 2 weeks after I ovulate, which will be discontinued if our little miracle happens! I have to get my blood draw on cycle day 27 to find out if this is our lucky month!

We are not getting overly excited about the news, however, we are trying to stay confident and cautiousily optimistic!

Today is THE day ...

Follistim - the first medication

I woke up at 5:00 this afternoon feeling a little excited, yet nervous. Today was the first day that I would be giving myself my fertility injections. I kept finding different little things to do around the house to prevent me from having to do the injection at that time. If you know me at all - you know I can be a procrastinator!

After doing every little thing that I could think of, it was finally that time. So I got all my stuff out - my little black contraption that holds my 'pen,' needles and alcohol wipes (noted in the picture above). I drew up the medicine just as they had shown me in my class, attached the needle, set the dose to 100, cleaned my skin with an alcohol wipe and took a deep breath. Suddenly I began to feel nauseated and had to stop to get the trash can. I wiped off my skin again, counted to three and stabbed myself in my abdomen, then pushing the medication in. Funny that you never realize how hard it is to give yourself and injection and push the medication in too. I then sat there counting for 5 seconds, then pulled the needle out and felt the burn from the medicine!

I felt nauseated for the next couple hours, probably solely from the idea of giving myself an injection. To make it even worse, Jason was doing a charity for Big Brothers/Big Sisters after work and I was all by my lonesome. The dogs were staring at me the whole time - my only source of mental support! We have started our new venture and I must say that I do not look forward to doing this for the next week or so. However, if this is what I have to endure to add a little earth angel to our family - then so be it. We all know that I would do, and have tried, just about anything!!!! :)

Seriousily?!?!?

Today was my baseline ultrasound so that I can start my injectables. So I headed to the doctor thinking that we would for sure have no bad news; however, I was wrong. When looking at my ovaries during the ultrasound, the nurse stated that it looked like my ovaries were polycystic. This means that there are numerous fluid-filled cysts on my ovaries. Women with PCOS do great with injectables, so great that they get a much smaller dose to begin with. Although she cannot diagnose me as the nurse, she said she was going to discuss it with my doctor.

I am trying not to get discouraged - we are not even sure that this is the case. However, it would explain some of the problems we are having. And injectables are the treatment of choice with this diagnosis. They are going to call tomorrow with my dosage so that I can start the injections. It will be an interesting day for sure!

Finally!

Good news .... I was given the prescription for the medication (Prometrium a.k.a. Progesterone) to make me start my monthly visitor. However, much to my surprise, before taking the pills - mother nature kicked in and we are a go. My cycle ended up being 41 days long - way longer than normal. I am just happy that it came naturally because my whole body is depending on a lot of different meds these days.

So the plan now - I go for my baseline ultrasound tomorrow and start my injectable medications on Thursday. I am a little nervous - funny that this is the case since I am always the one giving injections to my miniature sized patients! I will learn a little more at the doctor tomorrow. Jason and I wished on the clock tonight when it said 11:11. Let's hope this is our month!!!

Ready and waiting ...

So today is my cycle day 40. Very unusual since I am usually a 28-32 day girl. I usually start getting PMS symptoms a week to a couple of days in advance and I am not having any at all. You know me, I have already taken 2 pregnancy tests just in case. However, none of them are coming out with a positive! I go to the fertility doctor tomorrow if I have not started yet. They are thinking I might have an ovarian cyst due to the Clomid, but I have no pain - which is the #1 sign. Our bodies do the most odd things ever! How ironic is it that the medications you take to help you get pregnant can also detour your plans?!?! Mother nature is not so nice sometimes! :)
I'll keep ya posted!

Celebration at Smithville

The girls on the boat - and Breckin!

Holy sun - quick shot!

Breckin (and Tim) collecting the flying water balloons!

Tim and Brandeis invited us on their boat for a Saturday afternoon of fun and relaxation! We headed to Smithville Lake with group of people - a little birthday celebration of my own. Breckin even came along for some fun. He had some battle wounds from earlier in the day, preventing him from swimming at first. But soon enough, he was in the water and on the search for water balloons that were being sling shot our way from the beach. As you can see, he got 4 balloons - which he was sooo proud of! We spent the day with some brewskies, dinner at the marina and watching a couple daredevils get in the water for some 'boarding.' Very impressive! We were constantly spraying on 30+ sunscreen and still got a little burnt - the Smiths are sheltered from the sun!!! :) Just in preparation for next weekends float trip to the Elk River with some friends!!!! Thanks Tim and Brandeis (and Breckin) we had a great time!

The Roots Concert

The Roots -- tuba and all!!

The boys for a quick shot

A little PDA - givin' some smooches!

Pete, Tito and Jason before the concert

Jason and JB enjoying themselves ... DORKS!

A few of us decided to go see The Roots in concert on Thursday night at Harrah's bar, called VooDoo Lounge. We were on the floor in general admission - the best seats in my opinion! We could nearly see the sweat on their faces, we were so close. The concert was excellent and it was amazing how great this group is. Pete said they put on a great show - and he was not kidding! The crowd was pumped and the music was loud! Great times!!!

Persistence is the key!

I got home from work this morning, immediately called my insurance company and doctor to let them know that we have decided to move forward with doing injections this cycle. After being on the phone with my dr's office, insurance company and pharmacy for over an hour - I finally got to go to sleep.

Later in the afternoon, the calls began again. This time I was on the phone for 2 hours with the same people over and over. However, after all is said and done - it is official and the meds are in the mail for delivery tomorrow. I have to attend a class on how to give the injections tomorrow - wouldn't you think I would be qualified to do this because of my job!?!?? :)

So we do have insurance coverage and it is much better than I had expected. The meds that were supposed to cost $2,500.00 out of pocket were $94.00. I cannot even express how wonderful this is! I guess it goes to show you that PERSISTENCE IS THE KEY!!! I will keep you posted on when the cycle begins!

Happy Birthday To ME!!!

Well, today has come and is almost over. The big 2-8, getting closer to 30 every day!!! What did I do for my birthday? Well I slept all day because I had to work last night and I'm back to work again tonight. But, we will be celebrating later this weekend! Thanks to everyone who sent birthday wishes my way.

Some of the presents I got were: home depot gift cards (to redo my kitchen), my Julius & Friends watch, my own basketball shorts, a candle holder and beach towel. Super exciting to walk out to get the mail today and have a gift from April waiting at my door. Making my day all the more special!

Today I did get the best birthday gift EVER .... I found out that I DO, infact, have infertility insurance coverage. The meds are covered anywhere from 10-25% with the actual procedures, ultrasounds, lab tests and such paying 100% - all up to $10,000.00. So this means that we will now be able to move to injectables with the possibility of artificial insemination this cycle. God has truely answered my prayers! This makes my life all the more less stressful - what a great day!