My early birthday present ....

After debating on which direction to take with the medication options given to us, I decided to call the Insurance Rep from work. I called our insurance company directly months ago, when starting the infertility journey. I was told we had no coverage on infertility diagnosis or treatments - nor did the hospital offer a plan that would allow this. However, after faced with a decision to better our odds of pregnancy vs. out of pocket cost - a friend encouraged me to email our personal Insurance Rep to find out if there were any other options.

Our new insurance starts tomorrow, July 1st. And when asked if we had any coverage with the new insurance, he stated that we have fertility treatment coverage up to $10,000 per year! HOW EXCITING! I am still trying to find out the details (i.e. what, if any percentage is paid out-of-pocket, what is actually covered, and any other additional info).

Additionally, I had my labs drawn per my regular doctor to check my thyroid functionin and to see if I was insulin resistant. I got the call today with results and everything looks great. I am glad to hear that everything checked out, however, it would be nice to know what the problem is.

This made my day and is the best news I could get before celebrating my birthday tomorrow!
Now we once again play the waiting game to see when my monthly visitor will rear her head so we can start a new cycle - hopefully with injectables covered by insurance!!! :)

Our NEW Living Room.

Before - a little to drab for me

After - the new and improved

Scootie and D-gurl look excited, huh?!?!

Here is your first look at our new and improved living room! I have been planning on giving it a little transformation for quite some time - it has been a long time coming. We are trying to add the more modern style to our house - a little touch of the urban/funky living! Here is the before and after pics. Next is the kitchen, but that will not be for a couple of weeks! I'm looking forward to that renovation the most!!!!

Tower Tavern Flip Cup Tournament

Jason spinning a little number

And here is the .... 'power stance'

There's Brian - before the beer has hit him

And Trey for a quick pose

Brian's team wins a round!!! Yeah!

Last weekend Jason and I ventured out to Tower Tavern for the annual Flip Cup Tournament. Trey and Brian, Jason's friends from Chicago, were in town to DJ this wonderful event. Jason got on the tables and mixed it up for a couple hours - with his 'power stance' and all (as Brian would refer to it). One team had a no-show team member so Brian was asked to participate - taking one for the team! Go Brian!



The object of the game is to have a team of 5 players, each team lining up on opposite sides of the table. The countdown begins and the first person drinks their beer, tries to flip their cup from right side up to upside down using their finger and the edge of the table. Once that first person is able to complete those steps, the next person starts - ending with whichever team is able to have all 5 members completing the steps. Sounds way easier than it really is - especially when you are tipsy and wanting to win! :) Everyone was having a great time and it was a beautiful day!!! I think we might have to get a couple of Children's Mercy teams to enter next time around!

The dreaded call.

Well today was the day for the dr to call about my Progesterone results - and they did first thing this morning! As I expected, bad news hits again. My Progesterone level was 1.5 - therefore I did not ovulate this month! Just wonderful! The nurse then goes on to tell me that they would like to do Injectables this round (you inject the meds in each day). And when I asked her how much that would be - she blurted out $2,500 each month. WHAT? Are you kidding me? A month?

So after a near anxiety attack, I told her there was NO WAY we could afford that. So we will be trying an increased dose of Clomid (150mg) and Dexamethasone - still costing us $1,000 a month again (which has no guarantee of working). So now I get to look forward to taking this daily steroid to make me mean and symbolize a balloon from the weight gain. Our kids at work take this steroid and they can turn into devil kids!

I cannot stress how sick and tired I am of all of this. It should be sooooo simple, but for us it seems impossible. Then I am constantly faced with people talking about having babies and getting ready for babies - people that shouldn't be even having children yet. I have done all the steps correctly - finished my schooling, started my career, got married, waiting for the right person to share all of this with - and then I get slammed in the face. Then I have to work extra shifts to pay for all of this and it still isn't enough. What is going to happen once I have finished my 3 months on Clomid and it hasn't worked? What is the next step going to cost????

I have a dr appointment tomorrow to get some anxiety medication. I am not sleeping at night and can cry at the drop of a hat. I know that there is this ultimate plan but I am ready to be the happy one that can complete their family. I am not asking for a heard - I am asking for at least 1 child. Just one. I find it ironic that I try to always be the upbeat and positive person for people who are going thru similar issues. However, I am starting to break down myself. Me, nor anyone going thru this, expect any sort of sympathy. We just hope that others can help us get thru such a difficult time. It is hard to comprehend until you are the one dealing with it - I will be the first to admit that. Just imagine yourself wanting something more than anything else in the world and no matter what you do, it just isn't happening! You feel like a failure, frustrated and overwhelmed. That is exactly what it feels like ...

And another bust.

So I went in for my US today - cycle day 16 - to see if I had ovulated since Monday or if I was still going to ovulate. My follicles were previously 10mm and 11mm and quite a few other smaller follicles - today there is only 1 and it is 8mm. They are not considered mature until they are measuring 18mm. So either I ovulated before my Monday appt and what we saw were leftover follicles, or the follicles did not ovulate yet and are too small to be viable. If this occurs, the follicles are reabsorbed by the ovaries and disappear. They drew a Progesterone lab today - which will tell us if I have indeed ovulated yet. However, I will be waiting all weekend to get my lab results .... uuugh!

My fertility specialist is either going to put me on a higher dose of Clomid (150mg) - or start a different med called Letrozole (aka Femera). Here is some info on it:

"When a woman uses Femara for infertility, the medicine is taken for a few days near the beginning of the menstrual cycle. Temporarily decreasing the amount of estrogen in the body sends a message to the brain to increase the production of substances that stimulate the ovaries. This often causes ovulation in women who do not normally ovulate or who do not ovulate regularly."

Not sure of the plan of action at this point, but I am sure he will let me know after the results come back on Monday. I was told that I have 'unexplained fertility' at this point. They are not sure what the problem is, but are hoping to find it soon ... I couldn't agree more! Today was really hard for me since I thought I was going to leave with a positive outlook - however, I instead left in tears.

I'm not sure if knowing the problem or not knowing is worse. I know that either way it sucks and I am just sick of it. All I want is some good news and something to look forward to at this point. Sickening that now all I want my monthly visitor to hurry and come so we can start all of this over again! I am sooooo sick of the waiting game - patience is definitely not a virtue of mine (if you know me - you already know this)! It is all overwhelming and putting a huge dent in our pocket book - and we are only 1 month into it. Hopefully things will start looking up for us!

Thanks again for all the support and thoughts! I will post about lab results on Monday!

Ayden Turns 1!!!!

What is in this thing????

Ayden's favorite: The less clothes - the better!

His 1st Birthday Cake ---- compliments of his mommy's skills The back of his birthday shirt!
And the front of his birthday shirt!!!

Ayden is 1 years old! It seems like he just entered this world a few months ago - but here he is a little man! They grow up so darn fast. Due to the weather, his birthday was at mom and dad's house instead of Macken Park - fun regardless of the change. Mom personally made his birthday cake - perfecting it after multiple tries and a hunt across town for a cake pan in the number 1. Great job C!!! Ayden had his own handmade personalized 1st birthday shirt - compliments of his favorite aunt Amber!!! A special boy deserves a special shirt!


Jason and I got him a pool for him to swim in this summer. It is a "covered" pool with a palm tree that shoot out water! (Expect many pictures of him in the pool) :) We also bought him some water toys to enjoy while swimming. He got plenty of toys, many different books, and a Mizzou outfit. He will be an addition to the Mizzou cheering squad here at the Smith household .... GO TIGERS!!!

Congrats Ayden, you are finally 1 years old .... next is terrible two's! But how could you be so terrible when you are sooooo cute!?!?!? Love ya to pieces!

Hard at Work ...

Apes playing the role of Charge Nurse

Mindy checking Kelley's tempature

And there is Kyla!

Kyla and Jamie(the mommy-to-be) acting silly

Heather, Kara and Tiara!

Taking my camera to work again - I had to get some more pics of my girlies from work! So you think that we are always sad ... WRONG! We know how to have fun - probably having a little too much fun at times!!! Love my job and love my friends at work! It's about time for a girls day out again girlies, don't you think?!?!?



PS. Whitney - I will get your picture one way or another! :)

Congrats to Mr and Mrs Schoening

Mr and Mrs Schoening!!!

April and Dexter

The Lovely Emily

Mindy looking H-O-T!

Kelley and Nikki for quick shot


Amanda and Chuck Shoening were married on June 6, 2008. She looked beautiful and looked as happy as could be! The reception was at the Arts Incubator in the Downtown Kansas City Arts District. It happened to be First Friday so the streets were crowded with people enjoying the wonderful weather. Jason and I were in our realm - enjoying the music beating from the turntables and watching the breakdancers in the streets! We spent much of our night between enjoying the reception and getting the feel of the downtown vibe that we love so much! Congrats Mr and Mrs Schoening and good luck in the future ahead of you!!!

UPDATE - Great News!!! :)

Well as most of you know, I had my first Dr's appointment today - after completing my first cycle of Clomid. An ultrasound is done to check and see how many follicles have developed, and the maturity (size) of follicles existing. The follicle houses the egg, which in turn spits the egg out for ovulation. If the follicle is immature, the chances of pregnancy are slim. The condition of the follicle determines the condition of the egg, therefore, if the follicle is immature then the egg will not be good quality.

So, with that said, I am on my Cycle Day 12 (Cycle Day 1 beginning the first day that my girly visitor reared her head). I took the Clomid from days 3-7 and Estradiol from day 8-12. My ultrasound shows 2 follicles (yes, two!) that are 10mm and 11mm in size. I have many more that are around 8mm as well. Since I naturally ovulate on my own, they are hoping that I will ovulate around Cycle Day 16 (as I normally would on a natural cycle without Clomid). The follicles are not fully matured yet, but if I do ovulate on Cycle Day 16 (which would be Friday), or around that time, I will have a few more days to let the follicles grow - making even better odds for a + result.

I have another ultrasound scheduled for Friday, to see if the follicles have grown! They should grow 1-2mm per day, and will be considered mature if around or above 18mm. If I happen to show + for ovulating sooner, they will schedule the ultrasound earlier. I have a good feeling about this month, but I am not getting overly excited! I was very anxious and nervous about this appointment today - but all went GREAT! Please keep us in your prayers - we hope this is our month!!!

Clomid Update ....

I am sooooo happy to report that I did not have any bad side effects to my Clomid - even Jason agrees! :) The only side effect I has was trouble sleeping, but I just made it up later. So one down - one to go!

Tomorrow I will start my Estradiol (not Progesterone, as I had previously thought). Thru research, I have found out that the Estradiol, a form of estrogen, is given to help the follicles grow to an adequate size and maturity. The Clomid/Estradiol approach is to help me: 1) ovulate sooner 2) develop more follicles (aka eggs) 3) make the maturity of the egg adequate enough to go thru ovulation! Estradiol has some side effects that are mild, such as, nausea/vomiting, swelling, bloating, loss of appetite, and tenderness and swelling of breasts <- which wouldn't be so bad! :)
Estrogen also reduceds the chance of miscarriage.

I am really looking forward to my appointment on Monday to see how many follicles are to maturity and how many we think will be ovulated. I feel like I wake up every day and am getting to finally do something to help this infertility issue. I have something to look forward to! Keep your fingers crossed, as usual. I will post an update on Monday! Have a great week!!!!

Let the fun begin!!!

Well as many of you know, Jason and I were starting fertility treatment but I ended up getting pregnant. We have decided to start where we left off and are going to try a few months of using the medications only. Today I started my first round of Clomid and Progesterone regimen. I will take Clomid for 5 days, then Progesterone for 5 days. I then have to get a monthly ultrasound to check to see how many eggs I ovulate and how many are mature enough to ovulate and develop. We decided to start using meds without artificial insemination since we now know that we are able to get pregnant. If we haven't gotten pregnant in 2-3 months using this plan, we will add artificial insemination to the mix.

I was a little anxious, worried and overwhelmed when I popped that first pill into my mouth. There are many undesired side effects to Clomid, most women having at least some side effect. The most common are all similar to menopause symptoms: severe mood swings, hot flashes, increased appetite, bloating, and weight gain. Hopefully I will not have any experiences with any of these; however, if it lasted for the 5 days only, I will make it thru.

Keep your fingers crossed for us! We are hoping to have to do this for only one or two months!

Havin' a lil' fun at work!

Ok, well I need to take the camera to work for some more shots! But here are a couple to enjoy! For all of those that think our floor is sad and no fun - here's to you! I work with an excellent group of nurses who know how to keep the mood light and have some fun. Meet Kelly (the biggest goof of all) and Nikita (aka Niki). Me and Kelly are being silly (which is a pretty normal night)! More pictures to come .... girls, you better be prepared!!!! :)

Children's Mercy at the Royals Game ...

May 27th at 07:10 a group of the Children's Mercy Oncology staff attended the Royals vs. Twins baseball game! We started out with some tailgating (and drinking, of course) and then headed into the park for the game! We all enjoyed some hot dogs, hamburgers, brats, beer, potato salad, beans, chips and dessert - all which made up the perfect tailgating experience!

The weather was a bit windy and chilly so we ended up leaving at the end of the 7th inning. The game, however, did not end until the 11th inning with the Royals losing by 1 run. Oh well, better luck next time .... we all had a blast!!!!

Children's Mercy at the Royals Game ...

I couldn't fit all the pictures in one posting so here are more!!!! :)