Sad news

First off, thank you to everyone for all of you prayers, thoughts and support. I am sorry to say that Jason and I had a miscarriage. It was confirmed today with the blood results - both my HCG and pregesterone levels far to low. We are completely crushed and are looking for a little optimism in this awful time.

My positive thought is that I was able to be a mommy for a least a week, which some women can never say. My doctor says to think positive because we now know that I am able to get pregnant. All of the other statements are cliche - God will give us only what we can handle, something was wrong with the baby which is why this happened, we will become stronger people, or it will happen for us again. I am sure that each of these statements are true to a point; however, I am having a hard time thinking any of these thoughts.

I am sad, mad, frustrated, crushed, devistated, guilty and emtpy right now! I am trying to comprehend how I am going to be able to be excited the next time that I am pregnant - feeling that I will be more afraid than excited! A friend at work told me that this was the hardest experience that she has ever had to live through, and right now, I have to say that she is completely correct. I am just trying to keep myself together for Jason and our families! They are trying to be so strong for us, when I know deep down it hurts for them just as much as us.

Please, once again, keep us and our families in your prayers through this difficult time. I am sure that some day we will be parents - but only one person knows when that time will be!