Rollercoaster of Emotions!

I went to see my original OB/GYN Dr. Riojas today. He did an exam and said that my cervix is closed, appearing that it has not opened previousily. He drew some labs to look at my levels, which I will not get back until the morning. He said that just by examination, it looks like everything is fine.

He then sent me to get a transvaginal ultrasound. The US tech was asking me all sorts of weird questions, making me believe that the outcome was not going to be good. However, when I asked her if she saw anything - she responded by saying that she would have to let the doctor speak to me. So he did - in a very unsympathetic way! He came in the room, me already tearful, and decided to have a discussion with my mother about the doctors that she works for. Meanwhile, I am stunned that he is not even aknowledeging the reason that I am here.

He goes on to say that he does not see anything, not a sac, a yolk - nothing! He then says that "50% of pregnancies end in miscarriage" and tells me that my time will come again (meaning I will get pregnant again another time)! I was crying uncontrollably while he then had a short discussion with my mother before leaving the room, again about her doctors! She was tearful also, which he didn't seem to be sensitive to AT ALL!

Good news was that Dr. Riojas wanted me to come back to his office. So away we went, back to his office! He then said that he still felt "cautiousily optimistic" and felt that we could not make any additional decisions until tomorrow when I get my HCG and pregesterone levels back. He thinks that I am possibly only 4 weeks and not 6 weeks - which would explain why we would not be able to see anything at this point. This may also explain why I am having what seems to be my period.

If my HCG level is less than 1500, we would not be able to see anything with an ultrasound yet. This would mean that I am possibly not as far along as was previously guessed. I had bloodwork drawn last Thursday and based on those levels, he seems to think this is a possibility. I took a pregnancy test on Monday, after starting to spot, and it showed that I was pregnant and was far darker than the other tests I have taken.

So after discussing the days that I had blood drawn, the levels that were obtained previously, the days that I took pregnancy tests that were positive, and my symptoms I am having - he just doesn't think that this is a miscarriage at this point!

Please keep us in your prayers - as always! We are very scared and I am completely exhausted after going thru every single possible emotion throughout my entire day!!! I will keep everyone posted. If you have called and I have not returned your call, please understand that I am just not wanting to keep talking about it at this point. I am trying to get thru the night and the early morning! I will give everyone a call back when I have a definite answer! Thanks for all of your support - you guys are the best!!!!